Pete Gaerlan-Di Libero

Can you briefly introduce yourself and share why you became a therapist?

Hey there! Sure. Accompanying people has always been a passion of mine. From a young age, I was encouraged to help others and began going to soup kitchens and hearing the stories of those present. As I grew, so did the values of listening and service, and I naturally felt pulled towards refining my skills in a more “professional” manner.

What inspired you to focus on trauma-informed therapy and specialize in areas like religious trauma, anxiety, and couples therapy?

A pattern in my life has always been to give others what has been given to me. I was privileged to process and heal through many of the traumatic events of my youth while a monk through intense therapy, meditation, community life, spirituality, and surrender. Having found that change is possible in my own life, I seek to extend this hope to others.

Therapeutic Approaches

Can you explain what EMDR is and how it benefits clients?

EMDR is a powerful therapy that uses the brain’s abilities to heal itself and is one of the most well-researched forms of trauma treatment. It is an accelerated form of therapy that helps the client process and resolve memories from traumatic or unresolved experiences. Some benefits include that:

  • It’s based on biology and science
  • It’s highly effective
  • It’s well-researched
  • It’s structured yet adaptable to the client and safe to stop at any point in the process
  • It’s holistic and all-natural.

How do both short and long EMDR sessions work, and in what situations might one be more appropriate than the other?

My EMDR sessions usually last an average counseling session of 50 minutes. However, sometimes we go shorter or longer depending on the client’s needs at the time and my availability. During these sessions, one event or issue is taken and processed systematically.

A more extended session could last up to six hours and cover all the significant areas of concern a person can identify within their personal history. These are then systematically targeted and processed until the client feels a sense of peace and calm regarding them. A follow-up session of 2 hours may be necessary to confirm that an extended session was successful.

What is clinical hypnosis, and how does it complement your other therapeutic modalities?

Clinical hypnosis is the use of hypnosis within the context of therapy to help clients enter a state of heightened inner awareness so that they can become more sensitive to the whispers of their hearts. It is NOTHING as one sees in the media, and the client remains in control of their will at all times, similar to a guided meditation. The client chooses the purpose of the session, and they set the intention. I help guide the client into a state of relaxation and then offer suggestions as they deepen into this state of contact with themselves; nothing suggested can contradict or deaden their personal beliefs or morals. The goal is ordinarily some form of enlightenment or change of habit the client seeks. Clinical hypnosis is one of my favorite therapeutic approaches because of its potential for insight and rapid resolution.

How do you incorporate guided imagery into your practice?

Guided imagery often accompanies clinical hypnosis. I also incorporate it into many of the exercises used with EMDR since both approaches touch on similar underlying self-regulation skills needed for personal growth. 

Can you describe your approach to couples/family therapy?

I enter each session with reverence and hope that everyone has the capacity to resolve the conflicts. I want the couple and family to feel this energy and pick up on it because often, a sense of hopelessness weighs them down and inhibits growth more than the negative cycle everyone is stuck in.

The primary lens through which I view this work is attachment and bonding. I assess the quality of each person’s bond with their caregivers, the patterns they present, and the helpfulness or unhelpfulness of these patterns. After trust is formed in the sessions I will begin working on clients trauma history one person at a time and allowing them to share their story, process it, and experience acceptance from one another. Few things bring about more profound levels of healing than being seen and received kindly by someone who loves you. This would be therapy’s end goal and indicate that a new pattern is woven between the couple and the family.

Specialization in Trauma

Why did you choose to specialize in trauma, and what are some signs of it?

After my first psychological evaluation at 17, I became acutely aware that there was more to my life than just a gray haze of depression. So, I probed and sought healing, and over time, I was able to piece together a mosaic of traumatic experiences that made up my childhood. Each new piece of this picture was an exciting discovery that I enjoyed sharing with others I trusted. I became very familiar with noticing some of the common signs of trauma:

  • Depression, sadness, and emotional dysregulation
  • Feeling hyper-alert
  • Easily startled or on edge
  • Nightmares or flashbacks reliving the traumatic event
  • Avoidance of situations or people that remind one of the event
  • Difficulty with daily functioning
  • Substance abuse and dependence
  • Dissociation.

How does a person heal trauma?

Acceptance. It’s that simple, yet it can take a lifetime of learning! It is not just being okay that something happened, but rather, accepting on the deepest levels the impact of that event, the ripple effect of pain caused, the choices made out of that pain which were unhelpful or hurtful to others, and our need to make amends. This acceptance also encompasses forgiving ourselves, which is often the most challenging part. This process allows us to accept that we have been wounded and have also done the wounding, yet we want to heal now and offer healing. Astonishingly, the triggering memory changes from one that elicits fear, avoidance, or anger to one that is neutral and merely a recollection. This is a clear sign that a person has healed from trauma.

What is religious trauma, and what are some of its common signs?

Religious trauma is a specific form of complex PTSD that results from painful experiences at the hands of a religion or religious community, a spiritual leader or person, or something related to that domain. It is a wound that runs deep because religion can often touch the most vulnerable parts of a person. Some common signs of religious trauma are:

  • Conflicting thoughts and feelings about self, others, and the world
  • Difficulty making decisions
  • Feelings of depression, anxiety, grief, anger
  • Intense feelings of directionlessness and hopelessness
  • A loss of community (family, friends, romantic relationships)
  • Feeling isolated or a sense that you no longer belong)
  • A felt sense of needing to “catch up” because one is “behind the times” with cultural happenings due to their religious involvement
  • Nightmares and flashbacks
  • Emotional dysregulation (triggered) and hypervigilance
  • Conflictual feelings around sexuality and identity.

Children’s Therapy

What drew you to working with children, and what are some unique challenges and rewards of children’s therapy?

I love kids, particularly their innocence and joy! They are so resilient, and seeing them bounce back from a challenging situation fuels me to put in the work and patience in session to help them learn new ways of seeing life and adapting to it.

Can you explain play therapy and how it helps children express and process their emotions?

Watching children play is fascinating. It can reveal so much about their ways of viewing the world, who or what is important to them, and how I can help identify areas in their life that might be knotted up. Simple techniques like asking them to draw their feelings or having dolls act out interactions between their parents can give a child the safe space to allow that pencil or doll to “speak” for them. Attention to these cues and symbols can provide ample fuel to understand the child’s experience and what they need, which often boils down to safety and connection.

Reproductive Loss

How do you support clients who have experienced reproductive loss, and what are some of the therapeutic approaches you find helpful in this area?

When I think of reproductive loss, I see a mosaic of painful issues, situations, dynamics, grief, and after-effects. The loss of the ability to bring forth children strikes at the heart of every person and couple who has dreamed of a “normal life.” From this framework, I approach my clients knowing we are entering grief work immediately. Those who may have become pregnant but lost their child through a miscarriage or have had an abortion or taken an abortifacient consistently and now cannot bear children find that often grief work around this event is necessary, whether they identify the choice as “right” or “wrong” morally speaking. I have also encountered many women who, after being prescribed birth control for years in their youth for minor medical reasons (acne, menstrual regulation), find themselves in their mid-twenties dealing with major medical issues like PCOS and reproductive loss. 

Throughout all this are the male partners who are accompanying and doing their best yet often feel powerless to fully understand, support, and relieve the pain of their partner. The male partner may also be dealing with intense feelings of powerlessness and disillusionment. These feelings can be heightened if the female partner chooses to terminate the pregnancy, but the male partner is unaware or is not consenting despite their part in the reproductive process and relationship.

Working at Rooted Therapies

What attracted you to Rooted Therapies, and how does the practice align with your values and therapeutic philosophy?

The image of the tree caught my attention immediately since it has always been personally powerful, symbolizing stability, strength, and spiritual depth. As I began to get to know Lisa, learn about her vision for Rooted, and see how it aligned with what I’d wanted to offer my clients: a place of sanctuary where they could find peace and balance.

How do you collaborate with other therapists at Rooted Therapies to provide comprehensive care for clients?

We have group supervision calls once a week that improve our skills with clients and generate new ideas to meet their needs. We also reach out to one another and ask for guidance if we know a particular therapist has a skill set or gift with a specific population of clients we may be seeing. For instance, when I see couples, I often ask Lisa for advice and feedback since she has been working with families for over a decade and is a licensed couple and family therapist. 

Conclusion

What message would you like to share with individuals considering therapy, especially those hesitant or unsure about the process?

Feelings of unsurety, unsafety, and second-guessing are all typical ways of dealing with the challenging experience of being vulnerable. Realize it’s okay to feel that way. Also, realize that it may no longer be in your best interest and may be keeping you from leveling up in life. I’d like to see you level up, even if that is challenging. If you feel that is the point you are at, then take a step out in faith and trust that my training–which is precisely to offer clients an experience of safety and security in the first session–will be a safety net for you to fall into as you take this courageous step forward.

Resources

Pete Gaerlan-Di Libero MSW, RCSWI

*https://www.restorationcounselingseattle.com/religious-trauma-transitions

*https://www.emdria.org/about-emdr-therapy/emdr-ptsd/

*https://www.samhsa.gov/mental-health/post-traumatic-stress-disorder

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